Author Archives: Baden

The Hearse Song – Two Years On

It’s been two years now, and Dudley still pops up in thoughts and conversation. I know he loved this song, so here it is, on this your second death-day.

Lyrics for your eyes, while they are still in your head.

The Hearse Song – Harley Poe
Don’t ever laugh as a hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.

They wrap you up in a big white sheet,
From your head down to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks,
And all goes well for about a week,
And then your coffin begins to leak.

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out.
The worms play pinochle on your snout.
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose.
They eat the jelly between your toes.

A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your eyes.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You spread it on a slice of bread,
and that’s what you eat when you are dead.

And the worms crawl out, the worms crawl in.
The worms that crawl in are lean and thin,
The ones that crawl out are fat and stout.
Your eyes fall in and your hair falls out.
Your brain comes tumbling down your snout.

And the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
They crawl all over your dirty snout.
Your chest caves in, your eyes pop out,
And your brain turns to sauerkraut.

They invite their friends and their friends too,
They all come down to chew on you.

And this is what it is to die,
I hope you had a nice goodbye.
Did you ever think as a hearse goes by,
That you may be the next to die?
And your eyes fall out, and your teeth decay,
And that is the end of a perfect day.

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Dudley – The California Kid

This is Chuck Beamus, and Dudley was the man that introuded me to The Doors. We where in the Army and he was the California Kid, someone that I had never seen before—coming from Kansas—pretty sheltered. Dudley had opened my eyes to what the ‘hip california Dude’ was all about and The Doors and the whole thing.

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Friend, Husband-In-Law

I met Dudley Hale when we were working together on a frost control contract in Madera, California.

Dudley, Tuan (an ex-Vietnamese military helicopter pilot) and I flew our three helicopters into Fresno the day prior to the start of the contract. This is when I introduced Dudley to Diann, his future wife. She happened to be my wife at the time… which probably explains why I’ve enjoyed such positive karma ever since.

Now… I told you that story, so that I can tell you this story:

I was working for a Seattle billionaire as a helicopter pilot, and I, along with his entire flight department (consisting mostly of jet jocks) where attending an HAI convention… somewhere. We’d had a tough morning of walking the convention floor, and had found a group of couches in the middle of a expansive lobby upon which to rest, when I looked up to see Dudley descending upon us. We were all clothed in proper corporate attire, while Dudley was adorned in proper Dudley attire: Levis, plaid shirt, vest, leather baseball cap, work boots, and a crooked smile. Correctly judging my companions, He gave me monstrous hug: “HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN’”

Trying to figure how to explain Dudley to my somewhat button-down fellow employees, I said, “gentlemen please allow me to introduce my husband-in-law, and consummate helicopter pilot, Dudley Hale.” Whereupon, Dudley proceeded to wow them. He gave them his “A” program, and they looked on entranced, their expressions quickly shifting from humor, to admiration, to shock, to horror, and back again. He gave them fifteen minute of Dudley, he pulled them in, he scared them back, he chewed them up, and he spit them out, and then somewhat abruptly, with a genial wave, announced that he had to be on his way. Poof!

To this day, whenever I talk to one of those guys, they always ask after Dudley.

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Flat Top Mountain, Lake Powell

Over Dudley's shoulder in the background is Flattop Mountain which we landed on in the helicopter


Dudley flying up to Flattop Mountain


On top of Flattop Mountain


Dudley and Stafford on Flat Top Mountain, Lake Powell

Dudley flying us to the Top of Flattop mountain. We were the 62nd and 63rd people to have ever landed up there. Not sure if it was legal. Dudley in his mickey mouse tee, shorty shorts and tevas. Official pilots attire.